Vivaha Samskara
The rites that pertain to the various stages of life of a man are called Samskaras.
Vivaha Samskara (Marriage Ceremony) – A man and woman enter the Grihastha Ashrama through marriage. Together they face several challenges and perform many duties. They raise their children, educate them and train them to be model citizens. When this is done the objective of marriage becomes successful.
On the occasion of a marriage friends and relatives gather for the function. They offer prayers for the prosperity of the family. Elders bless the youngsters. This procedure offers for the spiritual and social advancement of individuals.
The bondage of marriage holds the society together. Society cannot be regarded as composed of individuals. The true social unit is the family. It is essentially on the plan of the family that the society is constructed. In a family, the social and personal instincts are blended and reconciled. To attack the institution of the family is an alarming symptom of social disorganisation.
Vivaaha, Parinaya, Kalyana, Panigrhana, and Udvahana are Sanskrit words for marriage.
All the rituals carried out during the marriage ceremony have some meaning. Young men looking to get married must be careful and alert. The same caution needs to be exercised by the parents of the girl. Marriages between two people having similar status in terms of looks, age and education, generally, lead to happy a married life. The rituals and procedures followed by people during a marriage vary from region to region based on family backgrounds.
Traditional Steps in Vivaha Samskara
Typical traditional steps, followed in the south of India are being described.
The steps are involved in Vivaha Samskara are –
- (1) Arrival of the bridegroom
- (2) Honouring the bridegroom
- (3) Maha Sankalpa
- (4) Kanya dana
- (5) Madhuparka
- (6) Tieing the Mangal sutra
- (7) Talambralu
- (8) Kankana Dharana
- (9) Brahma Mudi
- (10) Pradhana Homa
- (11) Pani grhana
- (12) Sapta padi
- (13) Arundhati Darshana
- (14) Pledges between the bride and the groom
- (15) Asheervad
Arrival of the bridegroom and honouring him
A day before the auspicious time for the marriage the bridegroom arrives along with his friends and relatives and reaches the place organised by the Kanya data. The bridegroom is honoured. Discussions related to the family connections and Gotra take place.
Maha Sankalpa
This is an important step. During this time discussions take place mainly as to who is doing the Kanya dana (giving away in marriage), to whom it is being done and where it is being done.
Kanya dana
The bridegroom is symbolically viewed as Lord Lakshmi Narayana. The father of the bride, Kanya dhatha, then washes the feet of the bridegroom. During this occasion, the Kanya data says –
Kanyam kanaka sampannam
Kanaka abharanairvrtaam
Daasyaami Vishnave’ tubhyam
Brahma loka jigeeshaya
“Intending to attain Brahma loka, considering you to be equivalent to Lord Vishnu, I give the hand of my daughter who is wearing all the precious gold ornaments”. Also during the marriage the bride vows “
I will never leave you under any circumstances of Dharma, Artha and Kama”. The bridegroom also pledges that he too will never desert her. “ Dharmecha, arthecha, kaamecha naati charaami, naati charitavya”
Madhuparka
During the marriage, the bridegroom is offered “Madhuparka”. In a small vessel honey and yoghurt are mixed and offered. The vessel is tied with threads. It is symbolic of a great honour. At an auspicious time, a small screen that separates the bride and the groom will be moved away and the bridegroom will view the bride. This is called “Sameekshana”.
The bridegroom then places Cumin (Jeera) and Jaggery on the head of the bride. Mantras are chanted at the time. The same ritual is performed by the bride as well. It is believed that the ritual will assist in increasing the affection between the couple many folds.
Then the bridegroom ties a rope made out of sacred grass (darbha) around the waist of the bride. This ritual is called “Yoktra Dharana”. This ritual enables the bride to accept the responsibilities for conducting the Yagna called life.
Tying of the Mangala sutra
Tying of the Mangala sutra is the most important event in the marriage Samskara. Since it is considered as the key to all auspicious events, it is called Mangala sutra. The bridegroom invokes Goddess Lakshmi during the event and seeks Her blessings. All the elders, witnessing the marriage, touch the Mangala sutra and bless the couple.
The bridegroom ties the Mangala sutra around the neck of the bride with three knots.
3 Knots
The three knots represent the three deities – the Lords Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva.
The welfare of the couple and the long-term union is assured by the Mangala sutra and the three knots on it. The tying of the Mangala sutra is conducted in front of a fire ceremony. Agni, the God of fire bears the witness. The following Mantra is uttered by the bridegroom during the ceremony.
Maangalyam tantu naanena
Mama jeevana hetunaa
Kante’ bandhaami subhage’
Twam jeeva sharadaam shatam
Meaning “ I am tying this Mangala sutra, the cause for my living, around your neck. May you live a complete one hundred years”. The Mangala sutra is regarded as very auspicious.
Talambraalu
It is also referred to as “ Akshata aaropanam”. During this ceremony, a number of mantras are recited by traditional people. They all wish the couple – auspicious events to occur, for the progeny to increase, for prosperity and for them to lead a harmonious life.
Kankana
This signifies the Rakshabandan. It is tied to the right hand of the bridegroom and to the left hand of the bride. They are retained for three days and removed on the fourth day.
Brahma Mudi
The word Mudi refers to a knot. The end of the bride’s sari is tied to the “Uttareeya” (upper garment) of the bridegroom. This is called the Brahma mudi. This is said to signify the closeness and affection of the couple. During this ceremony, prayers are offered to Gods like Varuna to grant the couple stability and courage.
Principal Homa ceremony
The first Homa (ritual by fire) that the newlywed couple perform is called “Pradhaana Homa”. This will mark the beginning of the many Homas they will be performing over the coming years. This is called the Pradhaana Homa.
The mantras that the bridegroom would be uttering are aimed at the growth and well-being of their children. While performing the Homa, the bridegroom will be invoking a number of Gods and adding Dravyas to the fire. It is believed that Lord Agni acts as the face of all Gods.
Panigrahana
During the marriage ceremony, the bridegroom will hold the five fingers of the bride’s right hand. This is called Panigrahana. The bridegroom also pronounces “During this auspicious occasion I am holding your hand. Due to the grace of the Lord, may we lead a long life and have worthy children”.
Mantras praying for health, wealth and Jnana are uttered. Such rituals bring to focus the auspiciousness of the occasion and the binding brought about by the marriage. While giving away Sita in marriage to Lord Rama, King Janaka says –
Iyam Sita mama suta
Saha dharmachari tava
Prateecha chainam bhadram te’
Panim grshnishwa paaneena.
“ Sita is my daughter. She is now your Saha dharma chaarinee. Please accept her. May auspiciousness befall you” – is the meaning of this Shloka. This indicates that rituals such as these have been followed in India for thousands of years.
Sapta padhi
Couples, who got married taking oaths in front of a Homa, take seven steps around the fire. This is called Sapta Padhi. A lot of importance is attached to this ritual. It is believed that even acquaintances who take seven steps together end up as close friends- “Sakyam Saaptapadeenam”.
The mantras uttered during the ritual reveal that each step that the couple take during this ritual has significance.
Arundhathi Darshana
After the marriage ceremony has been completed, the couple are taken out and asked to view the stars – Dhruva and Arundhati. The significance is that the couple conduct themselves like the legendary Dhruva for steadfastness and Arundhati for fidelity.
Pledges between the Bride and the Groom
The couple take many vows during the marriage. They are in the form of Sanskrit mantras.
Examples of vows from the bridegroom would look like this “May God Agni, bless you to develop an affection for the house you are entering. It is due to the grace of Lord Brahma that we have now become husband and wife. May HE bless us with a long life.
Similarly, the vows taken by the bride would look like this “ You have taken my heart and I am married to you. I accept you as a person having a lot of samskara. Together we pray for a great progeny. May Lord Brahma bless us so that we will always live with great affection for each other. May Goddess Saraswathy bless us so that we always communicate with each other with a lot of affection.
Asheervad
After that, all the elders attending the marriage bless the couple. The blessings of elders do not go a waste. Friends and relatives present the couple with items that would be useful in their day-to-day life. However, the Shastras do not mention or permit for dowries to be given on the occasion.
Vivaha Samskara – Miscellaneous
The tilak that the bride and bridegroom wear during the marriage ceremony are sign of auspiciousness. The exchange of beetle leaves is done on all auspicious occasions. New clothes are worn during the marriage ceremony. The bride is well-decorated and looks the most important person on the occasion.
